Reinventing myself, first of all I need to figure out where to start reinventing myself, It seems that I am no longer the person I use to be. I came to this town looking for a room for rent and after awhile I didn't have no more income coming for myself, but I ended up staying here as a house cleaner and pet babysitter. I don't think this owner of the house remains the person he is either. There are times the attitude changes, his personality, his ways of thinking sometimes drives me nuts! But I really don't have nowhere to go but to be homeless or go to a woman's church house. I think that's the route I think might be best for me right now being that I know my identity was stolen, my life is gone---in the sense that I can no longer think as one person. 
      The feeling of people coming thru me really makes me ask God how that could be possible. Then, I tell myself ,"God only gives me what I can handle", I know that the possibilities of multiplying one self is possible if people no longer had another way of being born. Sounds confusing, don't it? Parenthesis.. But see, I think of possibilities, I add other's people's religions and ways of thinking to possibilities of what they might think or how it is they might see things as, The books that explain other's points of views and how we are seen as. I might be a little more specific by explaining about the Maya's calendar and the Chinese birth years as well. Which has to do with the day, month and year we where born. People really believe in that and it get's to a point where everything has to mean something. Since we awake we have to be a certain way. Give thanks to God, is what I do. Give thanks to God for sunlight and the strength to get out of bed in the morning, give thanks for having a roof over my head which is actually a mighty big one and the bible says,"A big house might be not so good ", Or something like that. 
     Then the people that claim that Jesus was a myth. (I wonder why they would say that) because if Jesus was a myth than what can I actually believe in then? I know for a fact there is a greater power than myself, it might be an invisible power and might come as I sleep. Some people really don't want to fall asleep anymore because they are afraid what or whom will take their place then. That's the way I see things as I have heard and witnessed certain things. Perhaps we are meant to think and follow our minds, but some of us don't want to feel rejected and knowing that is what keeps me from actions I would like to take.
     It's really traumatizing to think that other people can live thru me and it drives me to a point of wanting to end my life in this body. It really wouldn't be the route that I would want to take because I don't want to wake up one day feeling worse that I didn't actually die! Yeah, that also drives me crazy, I guess someone would just have to kill me..but I have honestly felt as If I have been sent out to kill a couple of times. The funny thing is that I have invisible forces protecting me. I also know that for a fact, I have felt pain and I have felt certain things happening to me that I don't know if they have happened to anyone else. For example, the other time I was riding my bike around this neighborhood and I heard of what seemed like something coming my way. I didn't actually hear a bullet but I felt like if a bullet had hit me on my leg. I didn't see it or hear it but I felt it. My back tire got flat and I had to walk home with this pain on my leg. It was a terrible feeling and I was mad, tired and for a moment there, I was like,"WTF, is there certain boundaries I can't cross in the United States Of America"? Or better yet, California. 
     Boundaries that aren't taught to us in school!? (or does your parents teach about boundaries?) All that goes thru my head and seem to make me mad as it is why people use all these tools religions hand out to be evil! The way I see it, is..If I can't stand for one thing,which is the creator of heaven and earth ,than why stand for anything at all! Why not think that their is! Another world or life living around me and thru me, God does things in his own way, there is rewind, fast forward, pause..and then a stop. Knowing that is knowing that the only person I do have is God and whom ever he sent out to protect me in this world, which I honestly HATE!