It saddens me to think that a family that was once thrown into perhaps a bottomless pit has been spreaded away with time and lies. It's disturbing to come to the realization that perhaps we all took a different approach with religion and all. Seeing things in people's faces really makes me realize that their are a whole bunch of unsettled spirits or "ghost" as many will call them, but to understand them and be able to give peace to murderer's and rapist is not such an easy thing to do in spirit. Starting over at this point in my life seem's more like a passion to help these spirits that can't be helped in the flesh. Even if God did allow them to live in the flesh of other's, some say that a black flesh is not good enough! Not good enough when God makes no mistakes! God know's what he has created and what thing's have created other's. I mean why question God! Why question God in the sense that we where all created in his image for a purpose. Then that purpose became not good enough to live. I heard this comment that asian people are now considered to be the next, " Death Walking" Asian people!? 
     I always did wonder why I had many encounter's with asian women and many of my ex-toss up's. But to me, believe it or not ,some asian people are like angel's to me now as the way I see it and the hate that comes over me as I see them. I try not to look at them as they are close because many want to overtake them and some look so scared.
     I ask myself as I did that muslim guy that I met. I asked, "why do your people be-head other's? I said,"Is it because you are scared of the messages God has to show and give you thru these people", then I go further in explaining, that I'm assuming that they get scared by the faces of these people because they want to cut their heads off. I asked,"Is that what it is,are your people scared of God and the people he uses's to deliver these messages"? 
A brief silence from him and me not being able to shut up as I smoke my turn. I continue to say," I have come to understand that there are spirits we can't see that really want to cross over and deliver a message to certain people and some really reveal themselves perhaps in a voice, a face, or probably both, which did sound and I probably looked like I was asking to be be-headed at the time. (lol) As I spoke ,his face turned to a mean face, I saw the veins popping out of his face, like a mounsto..scawee, I said."Knowing this, you have to be able to take control of your body and what you are feeling and understand that you are in control of your own flesh"! He looked at me as if I was being honest. I continue to say, so I wonder if that's the case why muslims be-head people, because they are really scared. Then I said,"But don't you muslims pray ,"like five times a day"? He said "yeah" and began talking in some different language. He said," I have five fingers.see?" He said. I said,"ok". Then I said," If you have been devoted to God so much and pray so much, then God shows you more than he probably shows anyone else"! I continue to say," Why be scared at what God is showing you thru other people, I asked, why be scared of the message he is trying to deliver to you muslims thru those people", I asked. 
     I don't remember his answer or if he did have one. I continued in telling him that I hated to feel when people wanted to cross over thru me, I feel that shit! I told him that I wasn't scared and I understood it. I would not want to take someone's life and would want a figure of a monster coming in thru my face. Not saying that he did. I'm just saying that most people that have killed and have taken someone's life for some reason or another has the vulnerability of it to show in their faces. Having said that, now I understand why some have chosen other religions as a means of that not happening to them at that moment. Apollo's wife probably knows what I'm talking about being that she likes to cut people open in the morgue ,where she once said in her tv show, "The real housewives of Atlanta", people that work with dead people and stuff. It's funny how some words and real life have so much in common.
     Starting over..I question myself if that muslim was out to be-head me if it wasn't for the things that I said to him. It's funny how he said something like," I will have my wife living here in Lancaster and the other in Palmdale, so they won't know about each other", I giggled and wonder why he said that. Anyway, only God knows. Then I kept on telling him that muslims did not have to be scared of God's ways. I said,"God must really be pleased by muslims being able to pray all day and like' five times a day, so God must think that they where ready to receive messages from many people in so many ways and not be afraid"! I also said, God talks to us all day, thru so many people, in so many ways too. In books, thru the person that's talking to the cashier in front of us as he speaks that message he is saying to her might be for us, too! I said, "people want to hear a direct message all the time." I know I do! I was telling him that I wanted to hear a message from God himself probably, with instructions and all, telling me what my plans should be. I know that's probably not going to happen because I know God talks to me all day. I know what he wants me to do in oppose of what I explain to him that I would like to do, but I go off and tell him, that I think God and I are feuding at the moment and I told him that maybe God might not like my ways. Then I said, maybe that's why I don't have anything. Then, I told him," You seemed blessed with your business you  said your bringing here from pakistan, You have a nice car" he showed me his empty five bedroom house that I honestly thought he had paid too much for , in Lancaster. I complimented it anyway in part of his blessings. I told, him that he was blessed with things that he probably wanted for himself and his family and that God made that happen for him. I have nothing, I told him..then I think I told him that satan had taken it all away from me. I am not sure but I think that I read that in the online version of the "Quran" I only got to chapter five and that was a couple days ago,so I can't say that I read it there or not but I read it somewhere. He didn't seemed like a bad guy and having him taken me to his house was a bit uncomfortable being that he said he did have a family in Wisconsin and they would soon move in, so I said," I don't feel comfortable here, being that it's your families house and all, it's sacred". A man should not take another woman to his families house to chill, or who knows what plans he had in mind. I was in one of my spontaneous moments of exciting, "what if's" that's all. Yeah, yeah,yeah, but that career has probably reached it's spontaneous limits for me,in a pro-bono sense of the deal. 
     Anyway, the weed was good and the wind got the best of me that day blowing me around like a rag doll. Pushing me around and making me walk as if I was drunk. Crazy feeling of getting punked by the wind. My pants wanted to sag and fighting against the wind pulling up my pants was no fun. So maybe that small malfunction didn't let me jump on the train to go and wonder back to L.A. 
    All in all, if muslims don't want to receive messages in ways that seem unholy to them,than maybe they are the infidels in the sense that they get scared of a simple person that might seem as unreal in the face that they want to cut it off, IDK, Maybe they should receive messages from huge underground monster's that probably wont deliver a message but just eat them alive. Then probably that would be a bigger message to them,telling them that God probably heard them the day before the in one of the five times they prayed and they probably don't need to pray so much if they get scared by mere human's in the flesh trying to deliver a message and as they see the faces in that person's head they immediately want to cut it off. Like I said, that persons spirit might follow them around after they cut their heads off because it's unsettled and will not rest in spirit because the silly muslims probably didn't think that some people might continue to live in spirit after they die because the silly person that killed them didn't think as far as knowing what to do with the spirit when it got rid of the flesh.
   So..In conclusion, muslims, " If you are planning to keep killing people and be-heading them for what ever reason, know that God expects a good reason for their death and I would think, God would also want you to think of what it is that you will think of doing with that person's spirit"! 
Starting over for me, Is not really starting over for myself, but for God.