March, whatever..it's like going to a new job interview with people that knew you were going to fail. It's like living for a moment that some already lived for me. Starting over with what? Start over to become a really positive thinker, but I was a positive thinker! I cared about the things that should have mattered in life. I am starting not to care at all. Scares me but maybe my visions should be explained to those that haven't yet seen what I have seen.
     Doesn't matter what my heart feels anymore about religions, I have high expectations of people and the smallest thing disappoints me. I don't know if God understands me anymore. I don't know if I understand God. Starting over isn't so hard, just find something I like and get to it, and there are many things I like and corruption and using people isn't one of them. I can't even get my room mate to buy me chilly cheese fries, yet along begin a corrupt enterprise.. but I would understand the one's that have had many lives. I can understand how rejection from a simple plea can drive many to commit international crimes as well.
     I wouldn't settle in hell, I probably have had many misfortunes here but I really wouldn't go lower when I know there is something higher. Starting over does not necessarily mean being with someone if God is always above me. I really have not been scared too much of people. In Jr. high this idiot pulled out a gun out to my face but after I screamed at him to shoot he just laughed and drove away, what a coward! Then I seen her here as a girl to try and hate on me some more after trying to get at least one year of taxes to myself, but like I said, it's like the jealousy of these homos keep following me around. I really don't know what they are. I really can't say if it's just in my head, but what I do know is that there are a lot of short jealous gremlins that came back looking worse than before. Happiness..(Tears and heartache) happiness for me was found in the smallest things and in other's smiles. Happiness for me was in the nature of things and the sound of the birds when they had something to say. But why did God make birds (parentheses?) maybe because they liked to fly away.